Coffee Needs Coffee

I do apologize for not keeping better records, last week.  The truth is, we didn't do a lot of cooking; what we did cook, was something we'd purchased preassembled or preseasoned, so there wasn't anything mine to throw in.

But, I have been making smoothies and trying out different recipes.  I got a new blender.  It's a very nice blender, for my purposes.  I also got an attachment that allows me to make single-serve smoothies.  I've been digging smoothie-making.  I haven't made anything, yet, that has wowed my taste buds, though.  In fact, I did quite the opposite.

Today's one of those days.

I can tell because I didn't sleep well last night, I was running the air conditioner in the bedroom and not cooling down, and my coffee needed coffee.

My husband and I put together a bunch of baggies of, essentially, salads for me to blend together.  On the baggies, I would write what was in them and what liquid to add, as well as if I needed to add a protein to it (like bacon).  Today, I grabbed a baggie that said "+liquid," meaning, add any liquid you like.

So, I decided to add my cup of coffee.  Because yesterday morning, during a management meeting for a hobby radio station, I thought, wouldn't it just be easier to make a smoothie with coffee?!  I know it's possible...

Just because something is possible, does not mean it is a good idea.

Back to the smoothie.  The baggie indicated that there was 1 bunch of spinach, 1 bunch of kale, a handful of walnuts, and + bacon, + liquid.  I filled my smoothi container to the appropriate line for liquid, stuffed my veggies and walnuts in, then added my one strip of bacon.  Blend!

I don't think I've ever tasted anything quite like this.  It was like drinking coffee (Don Francisco's Vanilla Nut coffee, specifically) with a very bland salad.  On top of that, it didn't mix well.  It's very...separated.  So, I thought maybe I could tone down the bitter taste by adding coconut cream (since that is, apparently, what I have in my fridge).  That really didn't go my way, either.

Not everything is going to be perfect, and that's okay.  Life is a series of adventures, strung together to help us get the most experience for our time.  We'll see what dinner brings!  Maybe something tasty.  I'll have to re-visit the coffee smoothie thing, sometime.  It seems a good idea...

Mean Green Smoothie

I am not lazy.

I just don't always have the energy to stand in front of my stove and cook myself real food.  It's a frustrating thing.  Batch cooking does not work well for me, either, as I either forget I have food pre-made or I am simply not hungry and, therefore, don't eat.

That last one is usually the case.

This is also a very bad thing.  When I was power lifting, I would eat when I was hungry, until I felt satisfied.  That is, in fact, how Paleo nutrition works.  It helps if you have a large expenditure of energy to burn off calories.

I no longer have that energy to burn.  But, I still want to be healthy!  In fact, I know the key to a flat stomach starts in the kitchen.  So, what to do when you want something healthy, but can't expend the energy to create something healthy?

I'm a huge fan of Dr. Sarah Ballantyne, aka The Paleo Mom.  I use her blog frequently and it is my go-to blog for recipe ideas.  I cannot, however, spend as much time as some of the recipes require me to spend.  Yes, prepping in advance would be an excellent solution--however, I'm on a budget and I have neither a deep freeze, or a place to put one, currently.  So, I'm on a day-to-day basis with food.

In trying to figure out what I could do to accommodate a diet that makes me feel healthy while not actually being healthy enough to prepare it, one of my friends suggested blending smoothies.

What a great idea!  My husband suggested portioning out baggies of ingredients and putting them in the freezer, then blending them when I was ready to have one.  So, my first attempt at this was using a pre-existing recipe, the Green Piña Colada Smoothie.

Original Green Piña Colada Smoothie

This is what my first attempt looked like.  I used an immersion blender and poured the results into a glass.

Dr. Alejandra Carrasco created this recipe to serve 3-4 people.  Meaning, there's a lot of it.  So, I did what my husbeast suggested, and portioned 4 baggies with the ingredients (all but the coconut milk).

This first attempt was good, but it seemed to be missing something.  It had healthy fats from the coconut milk, power nutrients from the collard greens, and antioxidants and sweetness from the pineapple and banana.  But, to me, it was a bit sweet.  Maybe I grabbed too much pineapple?  I don't know.  It felt like it needed something crunchy in it...something salty.

So.  I added bacon.

Because, why not?
My neurologist was concerned about my hormone levels and cortisol levels being very low.  My cholesterol has always been a rock solid 1:4 ratio.  However!  My neurologist suspects my cholesterol is actually too low, so I've been instructed to eat more fat.  Yay for prescription bacon!

Here's what I ended up doing for today's Green Piña Colada

Kryssie's Mean Green Piña Colada

2 Collard Green leaves, torn (minus the main stem)
1/4 cup of frozen pineapple chunks
1/4 banana

Super thick Mean Green Piña Colada Smoothie

80ml of coconut milk (to start; I probably put in about a 1/4 cup)
1 strip (overly) crispy bacon

Step 1 - Cook bacon on stove top (or in oven) til desired done-ness
Step 2 - Blend all ingredients til combined.
Step 3 - Enjoy



If you find that it's still a bit thick, add more coconut milk.  I don't have a good blender, yet, for making these, so I used an immersion blender, which doesn't work as well as one might hope. :\

I like the thick cut bacon from the meat counter at our local Albertson's.  I do the best I can with the money I have, so if you're looking for a "Paleo Purist," I am not your girl.  I consider my diet more "Primal" than "Paleo," anyway, since dairy does not cause me issues.  Still, I don't feel right saying this is my recipe, since I used someone else's as a base.  So, please make sure Dr. Carrasco gets the credit for the main recipe.  I just added the bacon!